Here we go again

After how Isabella had been as a baby and two terrible pregnancies I really believed John would be an easy baby. I just didn't really think that it could happen twice. I remeber reading that colic happens within the first three weeks of life, but that it's the 3 weeks after the due date so in preemies you have to go by the due date. So I thought at least we could have 9 good weeks. As we hit 2 and a half weeks past his due date I began to relax and almost feel safe. That's when it all hit, suddenly he was screaming all day. How could this happen? I did not handle it well, I was just so frustrated and tired. My entire pregnancy of misery was spent thinking that I only had to make it to delivery and I'd get a break, and now the worst was just starting. I found myself almost mad at God, I can accept challenges but they are supposed to come spread between good times. It seemed that the last 2 years had been nothing but challenge after challenge. I was beginning to wonder how much longer I could really endure it all.

I made an appointment with the doctor because the screaming wouldn't stop and he was spitting up constantly. No one wanted to hold him, he smelled so bad. I was filled with guilty because I didn't want to be around my own baby and at the same time hurt because neither did anyone else. I knew he had reflux, Isabella had it as well and I had been through it before. This wasn't colic, he was really in pain and hurting. Our doctor wouldn't listen and tried to say it was just colic, he also refused to prescribe any reflux meds. I switched to a different ped and he has been much more understanding. I was having a hard time with John because he was never happy and didn't act like a baby should. There were no smiles at all, I couldn't even get him to look at me. We switched him to a soy formula but it had no effect so I finally decided to try a hypoallergenic formula. The change was instant, he began to smile and pay attention to us. However we're still dealing with the pain and vomitting of reflux. We tried Zantac but it didn't really help and his weight gain has really started to slow down so the ped just switched him to prevacid. We go in the morning to get an ultrasound of his stomach, the doctor doesn't think he has pyloric stenosis but he wants to rule it out just to be sure. I really hope that we can get this all worked out soon, I just hate to see John suffering so much. The poor little guy is always so uncomforable.